Friday, March 28, 2008

HISTORY


I don’t know why I don’t like history that much which I should. Actually I have to know about history and stuff because people from alla the world, tourist, scientiest come to our place and believe me it is not only a few but a bunch just to dig the history from Indonesia land or artifact or something like that.

In one of our land-Yogyakarta you even can see the temple from thousands year. They built that temple not with cement but with white yolk, etc. I hate for myself of ignore all that treasures in my country. I just follow the history when I was at School just for the score. I think Christina knows much better than me, she was an editor so she supposed to know everything, is that correct?

The problem of not so much into history will never ever show up if (I said if) I am not married with the man named Scott E. Downs of Winton!

He is really into history. He joined the reenactment thing from 1994, my frog! Uppps..I mean my gosh! It has been 10 years nope, now its March 2008 … my goodness 14 years! If I said my frog, don’t you ever think that I love frog, nup…I don’t like them at all. Misspelled into frog because my husband and I are making a joke about frog a lot ….ha ha haha…

Oh yes, before I come to USA and he told me about reenactment…I just said: uh ugh or yeah or I understand or I see or really (without knowing the meaning what he was talking about...sorry Honey!) Hey..something like that is really new for me and for the person who doesn't like anything from old time...what do you expect?

I don’t like history and I really don’t like outdoor activity as well. The activity that I love the best in my life is turning the music on, lying down and reading the book I like at the same time ( most of them self-improvement) then I will enjoy that all day long without stopping unless if I felt hungry or going to the restroom(oh..yeah..of course). Ooohh… I missed that moment already (Okay now…keep on going with the story Evi, you are too much dwell-on or dream-on, whatever).

Alright, long story become short, I joined with the reenactment thing (finally) with all the ladies there. I never expected it will be fun, even though I have to sleep in the tend-in the ground (with mattress of course, but Mr. froggy man took care of me and I never felt cold at all especially in winter time), but it is really fun. I learn how to knit…(yippy dippy deee….I feel like woman now), sewing (hey did I tell you that Scott is really good in hand-sewing beside working with wood) Talking about wood, we would like to sell some of Scott’s wood hand made, if I have some time to finish the website I will link it to this blog…so please keep following this blog who knows you will interest in our stuff believe me good stuff with a good price, you will not regret. Beside, in Bible said, “to help other people and also helping each other, right?” ( hi … hi…hi…)

FOCUS EVI…FOCUS!

Okay boss, I am focusing now, with the ladies in the reenactment I know how to make butter and bake a cake without an oven also. It’s really back to basic. Every thing are from the scratch. That’s what I like…and the best part is I can wear outfit like Laura Inggals in Little House in the prairie. Henny and I loved that programmes and we some time put the lunch in the lunch box like Laura and Marry Inggals… ha… ha...ha…Kiddo! But I am still learning about everything in this club and also learning about the outfit which is layer and layers and I can't believe that like hoop also. I haven’t tried yet maybe one day if I am really being a “woman” because that hoop make the person who wear that look so graceful and sit sweetly not like me still running here and there like a tennis ball. One day if I can sew (I hate needles, when I was in Junior and High School I got sewing subject in the class, I will tell you later probably about sewing because I was really silly, I hope I am not forgetting about that subject), I will make my own dress, like most of my friends there make this make that and I am, Evi downs just do knitting that never finish!! It has been 2 years! Ohhh meee…!

I think I will tell about reenactment in the separate topic also, too much exciting there to tell. Okay I am tired typing now…I wish I am a Jeanny (in the bottle) or Harry Potter just say Abracadabra or Writimus in Paperus…all of the idea is already written….heeeghhhhh?!!

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Friday, March 21, 2008

THE DOWNS

Hi... it's me again.

I have been here in North Carolina since February 2005, and then married with Scott Downs on June 12th, 2005 four days after Scott's birthday (June 8th the same as wiki's). He has one brother named Fred Allen Downs and his wife, Barbara Downs. They are a wonderful couple, I admired them. What a pity we don't have much time to know about each other because they are living in Pensacola, Florida.

When I came to Scott's mom house for the first time, his dad was going to the hospital because of breathing problem I believe it was February 19, 2005...and...that was my first and last time to see him alive because on that day he died ( I forgot the time probably around 10 pm). I knew he was a faboulus man (that what I heard about him in funeral and until now, its always a good thing of him). Hey ... wait a minute, I remember now that he was a toughtful person also, when I was there I shook his hand and tell him my name and where I come from not long because he really needed to go the hospital so bad. Soon after he got ready to leave he told me to wash my hand to clean from the germ from him. And when he was ready to get in the car he said see ya Evi, and I told him get well soon sir, get well soon. That was my last conversation with him because he was get well completely but in God's house after suffering in a long time. It seemed that he was waiting for my coming before he came to God's house and probably he wanted to see his youngest son's future woman, only God's knows.But I have always thank you to God for this brief opportunity to meet Mr. Fred Allen Downs in person.

My mother in law is Joan Johns Downs (JJD-I always remember this standfor because in Javisburg there is a company name JJD, cool huh?). Lord blessed my life! I have got miracle by having mother in law like her....ugh uh....don't be jealous at me. She is always be there for every body including me and I learned a lot about relationship from her too (she loves communicating -hey... in a good way of course-not gossips). But she does that because she is a caring person. She is willing to listen somebody's sharing. I believe that everybody needs someone like her. If we want to be honest, not many caring people arround anymore. I adored her like I adored my mom. Her patience is way... way... way...beyond me. I wish I could get that as much as her.
She is also a very energetic person and it made me ashamed sometimes because I am easily to weak. Probably I am still adjust with the atmosphere or wheather ( no ... no...no...no excuse for that Evi, you just weak, why don't you admit that!). If I dont have a mother in law like her, I am not sure I can survive living in this country. She never felt ashamed to introduce and take me to her community even though I am ASIAN. Thank you mam! Actually we have not much in common, she likes blue I like purple, she likes feminine things I like masculine, She ate slow I ate very fast, She likes communicating I like dreaming...but we can get along so far...I love you mam Joan.

Hey Scott and Allen, you must be proud to have mom like her. I do! Eventhough only law's.

Oh yes, She is trying to teach me to be girly which is very hard to me to do. She never get bored to remind me every single time to make me look better ha haha haha because sometimes I look so clumsy. Thank you for that mam, I never stop saying thank you to you for this.

With this writing I am going to thank God what He has done to my life and always protect me and guard me in my hardships.

Once again guys, just say thank you to God for whatever you have got even though sometimes not like what you want or look so difficult to carry, but if you call God's name in your heart and mind every single time and let Him come to your life...He will help to lift your burden from your shoulder...trust me. It really works in my real life!

Eviiii.... would you stop preachinggggg....!!!

Okay...ookkkkkaaayyyyyy........

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SISTERS!

Let's talk about HENNY first.

My next door neighbour has a daughter named Henny Augustien she is a year older than me (in fact 6 months older than me). I think since we were in kindergarden, we were always together. So wherever we go people will say," are they twins?" In that time I just don't understand what they were asking because Henny and me are totally different in everything, even our shape. I was chubby and Henny was slim, I had got banks on my forehead and Henny didn't. Oooh... probably because we have the same thick and black hair that made us look alike. Most of the time we put on the same color/type of clothes...no wonder ;)

We grew up together. I always go to the same school as Henny until high school(and everybody will look at me as her younger sister, included the teachers). In high school we separated, she went to SMA14-Biology, and I went to SMA 39 - guess what is my major? BIOLOGY! (of course)

Since then we have our own life. She took architect major in ITB (Technology University in Bandung-we live in Jakarta). The distance from Jakarta-Bandung is about four hours driving. And I went to Computer University-Gunadarma University, my major is informatics of management (deal with all the computer programs). I should be a programmer but probably now I couldn't do it anymore I am too much left behind comparing with my friends. But I love what I am doing now.

Anyway, I fond of her, she is always genius to me. Everything she made always success. She is an architect and her husband is an eye doctor-they've got three smart kids. She doesn't work as an architect anymore since she got children but she has built kindergarden which is so much fun to see (take a look in her blog on my link-she has many tips about kids that you might be interesting to know). She learned English since she was in Elementary which is unusual at the time. And she has never been stingy to share that knowledge (in fact all of the knowledge) to me. That's why I am into English, eventhough until now I always feel like I can't speak and write English properly (mean: fluently) :(
But I have got a native speaker of Winton, NC-USA as a husband, Scott Downs so whether I like it or not I have to speak that language every single time. Oh yes, in Indonesia, we speak Indonesian so we don't get any English if don't go any School.

From time to time, our friendship become stronger and deeper. She is like sister to me and I believe she felt the same way as I do.

Then let's continue to Christina P. Reidel

Second sister of mine is Christina.
We met in a place that I worked at that was BPK Gunung Mulia-Christian Publisher. She was an editor and I was an International Copyright Officer. She dealt with all the writing stuff and I dealt with International contract and relationships stuff. Her English is always the best to me. She is smart woman, she went to Gadjah Mada University, her major was Social, oh... no... her major is mass communication (she protested that I wrote the wrong major of her before ....ha ha ha ha, okay Ms. Reidel, I change it...sorry about that). We have the same interest ( I guess almost everything) even though we have different personality. She is an outgoing person, outdoor person, and me....:P contrary to her. And I am telling you...Christina and me winded up living in USA and married with USA man. She is in New Jersey which need 9 hours to get there from my place. 'Til now she is always as a big sister to me.

Hey ... I have got sisters in my life, Henny filled my childhood life and Christina filled my adulthood life. I still keep in touch with them and love them as a my real sisters. I am so lucky to have them in my life.

One day if my English good enough to write, I ensure you I will be a writer and my life story will be the first issues because I am sure everybody is gonna like it. Uh hu!

The point of this writing is what do we need in life, real sister or sister that we met by the time?

I guess no matter what the situation is, sister or brother not dealing with real or not real but how they feel about you and how you fell about them as well. I am so glad that my life is full of love. Eventhough one song said: Too much love will kill you, but if we put that love in the right way-the result must be wonderful.

So guys do not waste your time with being jelaous or inconvinient with your siblings , hug them with love. Take all the anger or selfishness from your mind and heart and tell them that you love them so much (probably it will difficult in the beginning to show your expression, but God give wonderful siblings to you so why you desperately stay away from them). Accept them for whatever they are.

Evi....you are so preachy!

Upppsss.....??!

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

I love you mami (read-mommy)

My mom, KARNI

Some people said that being the only child is like living in heaven because I must have been spoiled and can get anything I want, and some will say, “poor Evi, you must be so lonely at home because no brothers or sister around” (how can it possible being lonely because I accustomed with that situation-not feeling lonely at all).

For me myself I prefer to choose that I am in heaven BUT in a different way with what most people were thinking. It’s not talking about being spoiled and getting everything that I can get or want easily to make me have that kind of feeling (living in heaven)- [probably for some kids yes, but not me], it’s about the freedom at home without nobody will bug you.

Now we are talking!! ;-)


Let’s start.

In my childhood I couldn’t get anything I want easily because we don’t have that much money to spend. But I think it was good for me to learn how to choose the priority and save the money. Do you want to know what that is?

Ok…here is the explanation.

Since I was 7 years old I get used to make my own decision about what kind of things that I need so bad and important. So whenever I want something and for me its kind of important-then I will ask my mom to buy them for me, if not I will save my own money to buy if I really want and need that. So, the things that I want so bad, will needed an effort to get it.

And that kind of experience trained me from time to time and made my brain growing widely. I get used to make decision about everything until now and also dare to take the responsibility of my decision. Sometimes when it failed my mom will give me her hand quickly, but it made me not to do that. I always try not to bother her because of my decision. Every time I want to make a decision I will be thinking what will happen from this. So if I fail I am ready for the consequences and won’t be that hurt, the most important thing that I will not buzz...buzz…my mom so often.

I know that my decision to marry Scott and move to USA was really sad for my mom. I am the only one that she got and now I am living in the place which is so far from her and also not easy to reach-no family, nobody that I know of before. Everybody said that I and my mom are very strange persons by letting that happen. My mom always said to them, “If it is for my daughter happiness, I will always support her.” And that word means a lot to me beside all of that experience make me more mature in making decision of my future and not giving up easily. Thanks, mami.

See, how lucky I am having mom like her. She even never thinks about herself or worried about me being failed. The most wonderful thing to me…she trusts me! She trusts me for whatever decision I make one hundred percent! She will always be my every thing! One thing that she is always asking me whenever I make a decision is you will know the consequences of your decision and are you ready for that? I know she is always with me and affirmatively I said yes to her. She supported me in morale and praying as well.

What else do I need?

I love you so much, mami!




My mom is always look beautiful to me

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Saturday, March 8, 2008

Forget and Forgive....?!!

What does these words mean to you? Is it easy to do or contratry?


If we look at the bible about forget and forgive, it will show many verse in there: (Psalm, Phil, Matt, Luke, 1 Jn) but I am not good in biblical if I need some encourage verse I just find it in concordance and read that, that's all I can do. If I need to understand jus pray and ask God to help but explain it to everybody I believe it's a pastor job, don't you think?

Anyway, what I am going to say is I have hard time to forget and forgive especially when I get hurt so bad. My mom always say because I am selfish and just doing the self center point not listen to anybody. It made me more upset but because I love her so much then I just leave and not listen what she said (ooo..I think my mom is right-I am not listening). Hey...I am hurt here, nobody will understand how I am feeling-even my mom. Do you agree with me? The only thing I can think of to make that person listen to me. I can do something to make that person listen...watch me!

Did I happy about that?
Nope!


Otherwise, I get hurt many more times and it effected my mood. I can't work or sleep but still can eat because I love eating (ha ha ha I am bad huh?), can't do nothing! And I said to my self, it is not right. I prayed to God but instead of say thankful I scolded to Him and asked Him many "why-questions" like why you put me in this situation? why you this and this. Now I am feeling bad by doing that, forgive me LORD. Wait a minute now. Since I love reading about self improvement book which is plenty in this world, still none of them satisfy me or answer my wondering.


That word (forget and forgive) kept pounding on my head! What's going on here? What happened to me? God, don't you see I am suffering hereeee. I became bad and bad. Because in my sense if I am getting hurt how can I forget? and how can I forgive if it is really hurt me. NO WAY!!!


One day I read the old book title "wounded heart" I forget the publisher and the author. I will try to find later in the internet (if I remember doing the search, being this old...I am easily to forget about anything-many people said: Hi Evi, join the club (who wants to join that club anyway ... but it seems I have to because I have no choice..ha ha ha...))


The conclusion of that book is you don't have to struggle/against to forget and forgive because nobody can't. What you need is just put your feet on that person shoes but you need some time to understand and see why the people that make me hurt doing that to me.

I tell you what, I keep hard-necked and said I am different with them and what I am doing is the right way, and some people agree with my opinion except my mom :(


Finally, I mean finally I figured out what it is after some time I try to put my feet on their shoes (which is too big for me in real ha ha haha ha). Because of my selfishness I don't want to hear what that person try to say. I covered my ears and not listen but keep talking about my opinion to them. My mom is right I am too self-center, love myself too much. I don't want people in this world hurting me. What my mom suggestion is very simple, just listen what somebody opinion and compare with yours, if it is against yours discuss with them with no anger she believe it will clear the situation and I don't have to get hurt anymore.

As I want to live long in peaceful heart, I am going try to do that to my life. I don't want to fill my heart and mind with wounded-heart or anger which is it will make all the scary disease grows so fast on your body such as heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure or diabetes( if I am stress or angry I will eat something sweet without thinking and it means I eat a lot... I mean a lot).


Well.. I am still not sure that I can do it or not but I am going to try hard this good advice. What I am trying to do:

First, I want to put my feet on their shoes

Second, listen and learn what other person opinion

Third, pray to ask for God to manage my anger... (because I am not sure that I can handle by my own strength...like I said I am into my self :)


That is my sharing for today. I wish I have so much time in front of the computer so I can share many crazy thing in my life that probably will useful...who knows?

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Saturday, March 1, 2008

ZODIAC

Zodiac is so popular in Indonesia, especially for young people. I am not trying to talk about the detail of zodiac but my experience in Jakarta, Indonesia.

Before going any further My birthdate is March the fourth-under Pisces. I don't want to talk about the year is not because I am ashamed with my age but I just don't want to limit my activity in life by the age. Every body in Winton knows that my mother in laws(Joan Downs) is so energetic while others who is younger than her don't have any young spirit like her to be energetic and active. I am not trying to judge, I just trying to raise my young spirit to survive with all the hardships. So, what is on your mind is really important to make your life happy or not.

Okay back to the topic that I am going to say.

Most of the time in my former office (Christian Publisher-BPK Gunung Mulia, Jakarta-Indonesia), some of my friends are reading zodiac forecast in magazine or newspaper and believe it. We even sometimes look at someone's attitude by their zodiac, for example one of my friend is so hard headed and when we know that he is under "Leo" so we will say, "uh...no doubt at all!" or when one day I have been so sensitive, one of my friend said, " no wonder, she is a Pisces!" ha...ha...ha. In that time I just agreed that all kind of attitude based on what their zodiac is. I even has many kind of bookmark from funny card 'til serious about Pisces and they said about the same attitude which are always good to hear (of course).

I believe as a member a Pisces, I am not out from their rule, because what they said about Pisces'attitude is really exactly the same as my attitude, interests, etc. And my zodiac wise word which is my wise word too is : " Let other people better than me, but make myself better than yesterday." No wonder I adored my zodiac.

When I was teenager ..fuuiihhh...zodiac forecast is my bible...ha ha ha...not all just for romance. So I have been fooled with that for so many years. For example, one day the word say, " your boy friend will be cheating in the next 3 days." I am preparing for that and it was really happened! In that time I believe that zodiac was really true!

Now, when I am getting older, I just laugh what I had done. Eventhough I believed in Jesus but I still believe what people make this up. Perhaps, Astrology just good for some people, I dont know-I just don't want to make prejudice, it's people freedom of choice. For me, why I am saying that it's because they just believe in uncertainty thing. If you believe in Jesus not only in your mouth but also in your heart and mind. You will see the difference of what I am saying now.

It is not jus a theory, but what had happened of my boyfriend was being cheated because on that time I believed it will be going to happen and it effected my behavior. My heart was changed out of sudden and I couldn't explain what was the reason because I was really into the zodiac. Of course he assumed that I don't want to be with him anymore!

Believe is the most important thing to adored Jesus, remember this... not only a word but keep this on your mind and heart. Surely, there is no other power beside Him will distract you from HIM!!

So guys...what do you think?

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